Toxic guide to forking and getting forked

[Beefy Kasplant]

Give your best advice on dealing with girlies or duderinhos here!

 

Ill start off with my ez steps to getting a girl.

 

1. Shower

2. Smell nice

3. Wear normal clothes that FIT

4. Talk about things you enjoy and try to find common interests

5. Love thyself

6. Ask girlo's about themselves, everyone loves talking about themselves

7. Dont be afraid of rejection. Rejection is the first step to a bigger erection - Me

8. Dont be small dicked

9. Be good at oral, just practice on a peach or a banana or something, watch a load of porn

10. If you fail at any step, fake it till you make it. Lying about something enough will make it tru. That is fact

11. Clean your damn house, you filthy pig

12. Make breakfast

 

13. Get married and make mini versions of you.

 

EDIT:

 

APPARENTLY THIS IS NOT COMMON KNOWLEDGE, MAKE SURE YOU HAVE AN ACTUAL BED, NOT A MATTRESS ON THE FLOOR. FFS

 

 

FEEL FREE TO ADD IN YOUR OWN TOXICCCCC (Or normal) advice

[Puppy]

I'll add my thoughts based on Art of War (With Girls) by Sun Tzu a great man and The-Guy-Who-Fucked-A-Lot

1.Appear weak when you are strong, and strong when you are weak.

--- You're emotional? Don't get soft, use to communicate with GURL on her emotions, ask about em and let her know that you listen.

--- You're TOO emotional? Hold it inside, let someone know you have some feelings but never let them override your logic and strenghts

2. You have to believe in yourself.

--- No girl in the world and no man in the world is more HUMAN than you. We're all same humans, flesh and bones. Milions of years of evolution, act like it!

3. If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.

--- Know your strengths and weaknesses. Pick your fights in places you know and don't ever let fate decide any detail. Control everything, think and react. LET IT FLOW BUT BE THE FORCE THAT MAKES THIS FLOW POSSIBRU.

 

A small tip, beside all those Sun Tzu talks, knowing a place you want to pick someone is 30% of date. Know what to order and what to order for someone. They often will wonder, and you have to be decisive. Decisiveness is a key!

 

Just fucking realized, last one is Sun Tzu too.

 

PICK YOUR BATTLEFIELD BEFORE THE ENEMY, FIRST ONE ON THE BATTLEFIELD WILL FEEL RESTED AND FRESH UPON THE BATTLE AND ONE ARRIVING WILL BE TIRED FROM TRAVEL (PARAPHRASE BUT GUY FUCKING FUCKED OK?)

 

 

[Puppy]

2 minutes ago, Gravelord said:

Don't have a mattress on the floor? Don't you think that's a bit culturally insensitive? What about Japanese people? 

That's not mattress but a mat?; p There's pretty big difference, once is very hard and other (mattress) is usually soft and need to be 'more' expensive to be of proper quality.

[panda]

I thought this was about git.

You disappoint me toothpaste.

[jcsnider]

29 minutes ago, panda said:

I thought this was about git.

You disappoint me toothpaste.

Also disappointed.

[Gibier]

33 minutes ago, panda said:

I thought this was about git.

You disappoint me toothpaste.

 

Like always.... 

[Agoraphobic]

My mind went to League of Legends...

 

 

https://imgur.com/a/pihid