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The ever most confused ever I've ever been by a girl ever.(tm)


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So here's the story,

I work at an office and this cute girl who works at Jimmy John's usually delivers my subs. Every day I write down something new on the "special delivery instructions", such as "Tell me a joke about Itallian food". She always delivers with a great joke or whatever. So, I was telling my coworker how I planned to ask for her number. Ya know how coworkers are "Do it bro, DO EEET!!!!" so a few days go by and the usual girl doesn't deliver. And, just when I've given up hope she FINALLY delivers to the office, but I was on the phone when she dropped off.

So, I hang up the phone and my coworker comes in "Dude you missed your chance". Me: "Wait..... *RUNS OUT THE OFFICE DOOR* HEY YOU WAIT!" So I ask for her number and she says "I usually forget my last four digits how about you give me yours. So, I write my number on a receipt for her. I wait a few days no call or text, I figure "Oh she''s not interested" No big deal, I've been turned down before.

Well, my coworker ordered yesterday and she swings by, im in the other room and she hands my coworker a paper and says "can you give this to him for me? I lost his number". So yeah, I wait til about 8 or 9 o'clock last night and finally text her. No reply. She never gave me an area code mind you. So, I try calling her thinking "maybe it's a landline". The phone goes straight to "The person you are calling has a voice mail box which has not been setup yet".

I'm like 80% sure she gave me the wrong number. This chick thought I was mad at her when she delivered my sub late, I hope she don't think im mad at her for not calling me. Now, I USUALLY know when I've been turned down but, what the hell do I even take from this?

All I got is a new line to use on her when I see her next: "Hot messes, are the best messes"

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she says "I usually forget my last four digits how about you give me yours

Red Flags.

and says "can you give this to him for me? I lost his number".

More red flags, but she is showing legitimate interest in you.

I'm like 80% sure she gave me the wrong number.

My two cents is that she better be pretty damn cute :P

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Omg dude,Β  she adorkable pretty eyes, brennette. Thin and her smile is just soooo on point. Oh and the joke she tells are rash but cute.

An I quote

what do you call an Italian Booker? A Pastatute

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Here is what you do:


For the coming two weeks. Order 3 subs a day. One with mustard only, one with ketchup only, one with mayonaise only. It's important that you do this over the course of two weeks so she starts wondering what you are doing with the sandwiches.

The day after that: Order the most plain sub there is. Tell her to leave the bread, the vegetables, meats, cheeses and condiments. Order 3 times extra black(!) olives. You should get a bag with just olives.

During this time, go to her work when she is not there and get her number from her colleagues.

The last day follow her home and find out where she lives (I suggest you wear a trenchcoat, sunglasses and a fedora for that +3 sneak bonus)


Start texting her:

Send these texts during the day:

"Hey precious, you looked nice today"

"I can still smell your scent ;)"

"I know where you live!!"

"Want me to visit?"


"Just kidding lol"

NB: Do not veer from the script. Do NOT reply to any messages she might send. ONLY send these texts.

While you're texting her you should be getting part 2 of the plan ready:

Gather all your subs and scrape off the condiments. Mix the mayo and ketchup to get a pinkish color. Save some ketchup though (you'll need it later, trust me ;))

Go to her house while she is at work. You should know her schedule by now.

Use your pinkish condiments to draw her face on her front door. If she is black, use black marker for the skin or something.

Use mustard for the hair (you said she was cute, so she has to be a blonde)

Use 2 olives for the eyes.

Wait in the bushes near her house until she comes back.

In the mean time, use that ketchup and cover yourself in it. Like really, you have to be dripping with ketchup.

Now wait. (You can giggle)

Once she gets home she will see your painting. She will be confused and nervous (she might seem scared, but trust me, she is just excited).

Once she takes a better look she will recognize the condiments and olives and will immediately think of you!


JUMP! from the bushes, run straight at her so she will be extra surprised. Start shouting: I thought we should KETCHUP one time!


It will be you and that girl, sitting on her couch enjoying the leftover olives you have.


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Isn't there a forum rule against trolling? haha. This is also why I call the girl on the spot to make sure the number works. I personally wouldn't worry about it, She knows your keen now so let her come to you like before. If she doesn't then you wont get no where, just don't come across as needy. If that fails, follow Kasplant's advice, would be a good laugh to see it in action.

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